


Along Came A Spider

by ferer56



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Complete, Dubcon or Noncon Moirallegiance, F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-11 04:42:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5614303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ferer56/pseuds/ferer56
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vriska Serket, legendary heroine, takes it upon herself to help Karkat out during an incredibly trying time in his young life. With or without his consent. For entirely altruistic reasons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Spider's Web

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and your emotions are far too fucking raw to deal with this second-person bullshit.

He glared daggers at the slender Alternian girl before him appraising him haughtily. Her lips curled into the slightest veneer of a smile, eyebrow cocked as if the mere presence of the nubby horned troll amused her. She approached him slowly from the darkness, her jet-black hair quietly reflecting the shimmering paleness of the moon high above.

“Giving me the slightest challenge are we Karkat? That must have taken some effort on your part! I’m flattered!” Vriska teased, her voice dripping honey and ichor.

Karkat swore under his breath. In their time together, Aranea had taken Vriska under her wing and mentored her in the use of her formidable powers as an empath.

Training she now wasted on cheap parlor tricks.

“Oh, lighten up would you? I’m merely teasing you Karkat; conversations would hardly be any fun if I were to know everything my partners were thinking.”

“Conversation? No, to label this unfortunate collision of words as such would be the gravest insult to our Alternian language. And furthermore, I’d like to state for the record, that I would rather listen to a dramatic recitation by Equius of any number of the thousands upon thousands of Nepeta’s squeamish fanfictions, than be engaged in any kind of activity that may be referred to by anyone in this life, or the next, as a conversation with you.” Karkat spat back. Vriska chuckled, apparently trying her best to skyrocket his blood pressure.

“Why are you always so angry Karkat?” She cooed, “It can’t possibly be good for your health to be so frustrated all the time.”

Karkat simply growled in response. Under normal circumstances, he would have continued this verbal spat to further pound the point into her think-pan, but today was different. He saw no point in humoring the blueblood’s attempts to get under his skin. He turned away from her, and promptly stalked off into the darkness.

Or at least he would have, if not for his sudden excruciating headache. Icy fingers clawed into his brain, trying to rip out all the things that made him Karkat. He stumbled forward blindly, fingers desperately clawing at his head, trying to tear out the invader. And then, just as quickly as it had started, the fingers released their grasp. He fell forward, knees shaking, pulse pounding. With a strenuous effort bordering on reflex, he reeled in his tongue from the grasp of his spasming mandibles.

Old habits die hard.

He felt a cool breath flush against his cheeks, as a voice darkly whispered in his ears.

“You’ve wandered far from home, little fly. And gotten yourself tangled in my web.” She mused, her fingers twisting around a lock of his messy hair.

Karkat shuddered. "What the fuck do you want, Spiderbitch!?” He barked, trying to sound fiercer than he felt.

“I think a better question is: what do you want?”

“And what the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Vriska merely laughed, dragging a lone fingernail loosely down his cheek before pulling back from him. He collapsed before her, as if some spell had been broken. She slowly stood, towering over his pitiful frame. The only sound between them the faint murmur of the mutant-blood’s flustered breathing.

She waited patiently, eyeing him like a hawk, a wan smile gracing pouting lips. After a few moments, Karkat struggled to his feet. Yet before he had too steady of a grasp of the earth beneath his feet, she felt it best to remind him. “Don’t walk off on me again, after all these woods are dangerous and I would hate for anything to happen to you…”

The phrase was just too damn patronizing, too falsely sweet. So of course it set him off.

“I know this is some kind of sick fucking game to you Vriska but I’m not in the god-damned mood ok? Give me a rain-check for some other day and I’ll gladly indulge your sadistic fucking fantasies. I’ll wait on your every fucking whim, I’ll pretend as ardently as possible to be your friend.”

“My, my Karkat I had no idea you had such a submissive streak.”

“Shut up! What I’m trying to say is…”

His lip quivered.

“Is…” Before the Cancer could stop himself, the tears came.

And like a newly-hatched grub, Karkat bawled.

He tensed as he felt foreign fingers on his shoulders, but only momentarily. Contrary to character, her claws did not sink into his skin. Contrary to character, he did not snap at her. It was not quite condescending enough to be a pap, but just soothing enough to calm him somewhat.

“Did you read it in my mind?” Karkat asked softly, remembering himself and hastily wiping the remnants of his tears from his face with his sleeve.

“I only heard her name, it would have been… difficult not to.” She finished diplomatically.

“That obvious huh?”

“A little.” Karkat sighed, his shoulders slumping. Vriska hastily followed up her sentiment. “Give yourself some credit; I didn’t notice that little tidbit the first time around. But when you tried to walk away well… as I said before I couldn’t avoid it.” She paused, sitting herself down besides Karkat, attempting to indulge in the troll disease of ‘friendship.’ He didn’t seem to mind. “I did not mean to pry so deeply.” She stated demurely, surprising Karkat. It was almost as if she had a conscience now. Karkat snorted in reply, waving his hand dismissively to silence her concerns. They were silent again for a time, the wind and the sound of crickets their lone companions under the dark and inky sky.

“I’ll confess,” Vriska began, “when I first glimpsed you creeping around out here it annoyed me. You see I like to think of this forest as my special hideaway, a place where I can go to retreat from…well, everything really.”

“You could have, you know, told me.”

Vriska laughed, “Perhaps, but that wouldn’t have been nearly as fun. Besides I had never been inside your mind before with my recent acquisitions. You know how-“

She caught herself, fumbling over the name which had for almost a sweep now been skipping like a record in her mind.

“I can taste emotions with my thoughts. It’s been an… interesting development to say the least. A mutation of some kind or the remnant of a glitch I’ve carried with me from the game. In any case, I had been curious about the flavor of your hate for quite some time; all that anger and vitriol that you seem to so self-righteously think everyone deserves. Yet, that first time when my tongue gently lapped at the forefront of your psyche, it wasn’t that I tasted…” Karkat’s muscles tensed. “It was sadness, of a very acute and pervasive sort. I couldn’t tell what had caused those feelings from such a subtle appetizer so I… sunk my fangs a little deeper.”

“Your imagery is making me incredibly uncomfortable I hope you know.”

Vriska smirked in reply, “then I guess I’m not acting too out of character for your tastes, hmm?”

Karkat couldn’t stifle a small chuckle, “you better watch yourself Vriska, if people knew you had a functioning blood-pusher they might actually start to…” He paused for dramatic effect, “like you.”

She allowed the crickets to answer in her stead. With silence as their mutual companion, time slipped slowly by.

Until Karkat broke it.

“So why not let me go then? You’ve never particularly given a damn about me before.”

“Maybe I was feeling particularly generous today. In the times of Beforus the high-bloods would coddle the low-bloods. Perhaps I was simply feeling an echo from that earlier time, and you happened to be nearby,” she offered condescendingly.

Karkat turned to her, his expression grim.

Vriska bit her lip, looking away, unable to hold his gaze.

“So you tasted that too, huh?”

Vriska sighed, solemnly nodding in reply. Karkat’s eyes left her form, peering into the darkness that surrounded them.

“I see.”

“Karkat…” Vriska began, striving to find the proper words amidst the contradictory blather stirring in her mind.

He didn’t seem to notice.

“Are you going to stop me Vriska?” He asked suddenly, his defeated tone sending shivers down her spine.

It took her a moment to find the words amidst the slurry.

“I won’t let you go.” She stated adamantly.

“I suppose there’s no point in trying to stand up then is there?”

“Karkat please…”

“Please? Please what!?” He shouted, “Sit here and have a feelings jam with you? As if that will make things all fucking better? All fucking right? As if I just air out the extent of my miserable fucking existence to you like a goddamned open book then somehow I won’t have these thoughts? News flash Vriska, I always have these thoughts. I fucking hate myself. No, hate is too light a word really. I despise myself Vriska. I loathe every facet of who I am, what makes me myself. And I…” He choked on the words, “I can’t fucking take it anymore!” The taste of salt once again reached his lips, crimson tears streaking their way down his face, another reminder of his perpetual self-loathing.

Vriska was silent at his display, it wasn’t necessary to lightly graze his thoughts to know he was a powder keg. Hell he had probably always been this volatile, just waiting for something to really set him off.

If only Kanaya were here, she’d know what to do. But Vriska Serket? She knew how to break things, but Karkat was already broken, perhaps too shattered to have the pieces put back together again. And even if he wasn’t, the Scorpio’s clumsy butterfingers were by no means up to such a delicate task.

She opened her mouth to speak, yet faltered, as if the air had been sucked out from her respiratory sacs.

“Why the fuck do you care Vriska!? You’ve always found it so easy to take, and take, and take from us.” he spat, “Now you tell me that’s in the past? That you’re a different person now? That you’re not the same Spiderbitch we all came to know and hate?” Vriska grit her teeth, trying to drown out his voice with her own, a plan as doomed as any alternative timeline.

“Stop it Karkat…”She hissed.

His stomach churned as he processed her reaction, having had it not long ago.

More fuel for his self-destructive fire.

“You always have to stick your nose where it doesn’t belong, interfere with things that aren’t any of your fucking business. You wonder why Kanaya’s so fussy? It’s because she spent so many sweeps of her fucking life cleaning up after your numerous goddamn mistakes. Ever since we were grubs that’s all you’ve ever done is tear us down and expect others to pick up the pieces. You act like were your fucking puppets, here to dance to your demented tune. Well we aren’t! Our lives are not yours to play with. Do you want to know why your hive was placed so far out in the boonies? Because nobody wants to deal with your shit anymore! Not Kanaya, not Tavros, not Equius, and certainly not fucking me! Even Aranea and Meenah abandoned you didn’t they? What did you do I wonder? Actually, stupid question! I know exactly what you did! You were yourself and they couldn’t stand it! I bet-“

Before he could finish, a stinging slap sent him reeling, his face welting before he even hit the ground.

“I’ve always had my reasons for who I am, reasons I’m not going to apologize for, least of all to you. You want to know why I held you back? Why I didn’t let you saunter off to cut short your miserable fucking existence? It’s because my whole life has been dominated by death and misery. And I’m fucking sick of it! I can’t bear the thought of having to bury yet another friend, yes a friend, I fucking said it Karkat! But you know what maybe your right; maybe all I can do is take. No matter what I do, every action I make seems to hurt the ones I care about.”

She paused, brow furrowing as sweat dripped down her forehead.

“I used to think that was empowering… I used to think… that made me strong…” Her knees buckled, and she no longer had the stamina to steady herself. She collapsed, bringing her legs up to her head, burying her face in her hands.

“But it didn’t… it only brought more death… and I guess… just this once I...”

Whatever she muttered was far too low for him to hear.

And then silence stole again over the both of them.

Karkat slowly stood, dusting off his knees. He shot a glance in Vriska’s direction, cringing at his handiwork. He had flown off the handle. She hadn’t deserved that outburst, hell nobody deserved to put up with him and his shit. Maybe that’s why Terezi had done it. She was sick of him too, yet still too afraid to tell it to him straight. Afraid of what he might do, if just one more hole opened up beneath him.

Maybe that time there would be no bottom.

That was wishful thinking.

The constant flashing images erupting in his mind reminded him that fresh torments were always waiting in the wings.

He could hear her even now, nasally whine clear as crystal.

Candy red…

His fingers clenched almost autonomously. He had once found solace in the fact that his matesprit so delighted in the taste of his blood. It had been the one good thing about his wretched caste. And now that had not been only stolen from him, but rather reflected in the shades of another whose blood was just as sweet as his. And so once again, his birthright had found a way to mock him for his own existence.

He had nothing left to offer her.

He was just a mistake who was barely able to handle even the simplistic single quadrant dalliances that were the norm in petty human relationships; much less the incredibly intricate ones troll society had carved out for him to follow. No matter how many rom-coms he binged, or tepid romantic drivel he devoured, at the end of the night he knew everything but how to change himself.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, here he was bitching like some kind of new-wave Eridan.

Wow.

Not even Vriska was deserving of being on the receiving end of that.

He began to walk away. No point delaying the inevitable. If he couldn’t find solace in existence, than maybe non-existence would be more sporting. Might as well just--

Pain.

That was the only thing his mind registered, until blackness overtook him.

Well, that wasn’t quite true.

He did hear a voice in the darkness.

“Try to understand, Karkat. I’m only doing this for your own good.”


	2. The Best Laid Plans

Your name is Terezi Pyrope, and you have just made the worst mistake of your entire life. You are so upset and angry with yourself, that you are currently ignoring the previously established narrative flow of the story being told. You don’t have time for the omniscient author to relay your feelings and emotions, the middleman’s brief attempts at levity only serving to derail the immensity, and severity of the dark emotions nipping away at your psyche. 

Despite these feelings you try to reassure yourself, something the narrator would have helpfully informed you was a fruitless endeavor. Dave would catch up with him, would find some way to bring him back. 

Then maybe, just maybe, you could somehow make this up to your matesprit.

Tell him how you had gotten caught up in the moment, how fast it had been, how very fleeting. Explain to him how your feelings for him were true, irreplaceable, and even redder than his thick syrupy candy-flavored blood. Yet, deep down, down in the deepest recesses of your mind, you also knew that what you and Dave had shared was more than just a simple indiscretion. Indeed, you’re moiral and yourself had been getting even closer recently, so close in fact that all it had taken was one slip of the tongue, one trembling touch, to send everything crashing into free-fall. And you had wanted it. 

No, you couldn’t lie to yourself.

You had needed it.

You almost wish that you had taken Rose up on her offer and partaken in the drinking of one of her interesting earth soporifics, at least then maybe you’d be able to find some excuse for yourself and your reprehensible actions. You heard the door click and you turned, hoping beyond hope that you could have some opportunity to explain yourself, to salvage this miserable situation. Yet only David greeted you, his shades in disarray, revealing his dark ruby eyes so similar to your own. He shook his head grimly, and you slammed your fist against the wall. Teal blood trickled from your wound, yet even this was not enough to distract yourself from what an awful fucking matesprit you were. So absorbed were you in yourself that you almost didn’t notice Dave pull out his turntables from his sylladex. Before you could say a word he vanished. 

Not that you were going to.

In fact, being truthful with yourself, which was becoming an increasingly difficult endeavor, you couldn’t stand the sight of him. In fact, at the moment, you hated him almost as much as you hated yourself. If he hadn’t pushed things, hadn’t taken off his shirt on the flimsiest of pretenses, then maybe, maybe…

No, no, that wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair and you knew it. You had initiated the injustice, had pushed him onto his back, those broad shoulders and thick, pulsing red-filled carotids far too tempting to- 

You violently shook your head, trying to dispel the events of the night from your tainted memory. You wrung your hands, your mind racing with self-loathing and bitterness. For the briefest instant your guard faltered, as this undoubtedly was how Karkat-

With a shriek you bury your face into your hands, the merest mention of his name like poison in your veins. Why? Why had you done it? Why had you threatened the stability that had taken so long to build up between the two of you?

For the longest time Karkat had tried to have your every facet to himself, suffocated you in his desire to fill your every quadrant. Yet that had changed following the course of the game, and he had come to terms with your needs as an Alternian. He had changed so much of himself for you, because that’s how flushed he had been for you. 

You yearned for Karkat’s kindness. Beneath his loudmouthed antics and angry façade was the sweetest, most caring individual. He listened to you, and made you feel special in all the right ways. Whenever you were down, you knew that Karkat would listen. Yet perhaps most importantly, you knew that his words of advice would always reach you. His devotion to you was almost sickening. And you couldn’t help but pity him in the most excruciating ways, pangs which had convinced you that your feelings for him had truly been beyond the pale. 

But of course you weren’t content with that. You wanted more. 

Karkat just didn’t quite light your fires the same way, or with the intensity, that Dave’s mere presence did. Dave, Dave just excited you. His cool indifference and hilarious ‘raps’ drawing you ever closer, his mere presence as intoxicating as his thick cherry veins. You were both so similar, and it made sense that you two would hit it off. But you also knew that he just didn’t have the emotional capacity to care for you at your worst. He was just that kind of guy, hadn’t even batted an eye upon stumbling over the body of his lusus. To be honest, he was a pretty terrible moiral. And if you could maintain that same level of honesty a little deeper into the thorny brambles of your mind, you knew you had only labelled him as such as an excuse to see him more. He was a stone, and admittedly, that was one of the reasons you had felt so attracted to him in the first place.

You sighed, if only you could have the best of both worlds. If only fate hadn’t seen fit to split up your true matesprit into two individuals who would always compete for your affections. Yet, as you knew Karkat would say, probably in the form of an overlong tediously boring ramble, there was no such thing as a dual matespritship. And you further knew that even if such a thing existed, to suggest it would only break his blood-pumper. 

If you hadn’t done so already. 

You dug your claws into your palms, finding the blood trickling down your wrists oddly soothing. Maybe you could get into a blackrom with Dave, that quadrant after all had been sorely lacking ever since…

Well, suffice to say you had a very poor track record with your black dalliances.

Yet, you knew that thought was no more than a simple pipedream. His simpler human culture could not possibly have prepared him for the rigors of a true Alternian kismesissitude. That, and the fact you just couldn’t find yourself ever mustering black feelings for him. While it was true that right now you couldn’t stand the sight of his trendy i-shades, or trademarked cool indifference, you didn’t hate him right now because of some aspect of his personality. The true focus of your hatred was the bad decision made by two friends who had gotten too touchy-feely. 

You wiped the tears from your face, tired now of feeling sorry for yourself despite the fact that was likely what you deserved.

…

Well you slipped back into that negative feedback loop with relative alacrity.

You bolted upright, frantically grabbing your husktop and propping the mishandled machine haphazardly on your lap. You quickly smelled all your contacts on Trollian, and promptly began trolling everyone you could think of. The new world you had created was not all that big, somebody had to have seen him. Somebody knew where he was. You began typing, your fingers barely touching every key. 

Unlike Dave, time was most definitely not on your side. 

You had spent too long moping, wasting away precious seconds that you could not afford to spare. God you were so stupid. The tastes began to melt into each other, as your fingers worked their magic in pursuit of your objective.

You had to find him.

Soon you were multi-tasking and bouncing between six-plus conversations, flitting from one to the other in the desperate hope somebody, somewhere had seen even the slightest hint of Vantas’ nubby horns amidst the gloom. Yet, as the hours trickled by, and she began getting desperate enough to troll even the members of alternative timelines, she realized with that she had trolled nearly everyone she had ever known. 

And she was fucking exhausted. 

In fact, she was so fucking exhausted that she didn’t even notice that the narrative perspective in her story had steadily changed from second to third person. 

That was, admittedly, probably for the best.

As she was about to give up in her quest, the acrid smell of rotting blueberries flashed across her screen. She was seriously not in the mood.

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]  
[AG]: Hello, dear sister.  
[GC]: what is it that you want im not in the mood  
There was a slight pause, and Terezi was just about to block her out of spite.  
[AG]: I 8elieve I have something of yours.

Terezi’s blood-pusher dropped from her meal-tunnel into her chest. 

This was bad. 

[GC]: what do you mean  
[AG]: My, my you truly must be flustered, not even utilizing your quirk I see :::;D  
[AG]: Or even proper punctuation for that matter.  
[AG]: Tsk, tsk.  
[GC]: this isn’t funny serket  
[AG]: Oh?  
[GC]: what have you done with my karkat  
[AG]: What have you done with my Terezi?

Terezi cringed, as phantom fangs dug stinging kisses along her spine and welted limbs danced luridly beneath her breast.

[AG]: I see that Terezi isn’t available at the moment; I suppose I’ll check 8ack l8r.  
[GC]: W41T!  
[AG]: Ah! Terezi, I was worried for a second something had happened to you.  
[AG]: That would have been unfortun8e wouldn’t you agree?  
[GC]: 1 H4V3 1NDULG3D YOU. WH3R3 1S K4RK4T?  
[AG]: Such a one track mind tonight, is something the matter?  
[GC]: D4MN1T VR1SK4 WH3R3 1S H3?  
[AG]: Would you like to talk a8out it? Perhaps I could lend an ear…….  
[GC]: VR1SK4, 1 4M NOT 1N TH3 MOOD FOR YOUR SH3N4N1G4NS  
[AG]: I think I may 8e getting the hang of this whole, ‘friendship’ thing.  
[AG]: I had the most interesting conversation just a little while ago ::::D  
[GC]: VR1SK4 1 W1LL DR4G YOU BY YOUR FUCK3D UP HORNS OUT OF YOUR GODD4MN3D H1V3, 4ND FORC3 YOU TO T3LL M3 WH3R3 HE 1S  
[AG]: Goodness Terezi you are 8eing so dramaticccccccc.  
[AG]: Almost like our mutual friend.  
[GC]: 1F 1 F1ND OUT YOU’VE TOUCH3D ONE H41R ON H1S H34D.  
[AG]: Don’t worry yourself dearest sister.  
[AG]: I haven’t don’t anything especially hurtful to him……..

Terezi paused, lips trembling as the color drained from her face. 

[GC]: WH4T H4V3 YOU DON3?  
[AG]: What have IIIIIII done? Shouldn’t you be more concerned-  
[AG]: A8out what youuuuuuuu’ve done? 

Terezi’s blood froze within her veins, no doubt in her mind now that Vriska had found out everything. 

[GC]: YOU PROM1S3D YOU WOULD STOP US1NG MAN1PUL4TE.  
[AG]: Oh I didn’t need to manipul8 him Terezi.  
[AG]: He was more than eager for a friendly ear.  
[AG]: It’s so hard these days to know who your reaaaaaaaal friends are, wouldn’t you agree?  
[GC]: YOUR LY1NG, WH4T H4V3 YOU DON3 W1TH HIM?  
[GC]: VR1SK4  
[GC]: VR1SK4  
[GC]: 4NSW3R M3  
[AG]: Sorry  
[AG]: The little pupa woke up, and I was a little 8usy 8eing a good hostess.  
[AG]: I must admit, I can see why you like him, he can 8e quite cute in his own special way. <3  
[GC]: L3T ME SP34K TO H1M!  
[AG]: After you’ve 8een nothing 8ut rude to me?  
[AG]: Fat chance :PPPPPPPP  
[GC]: PL34S3 VR1SK4  
[AG]: Hmmmmmmmm  
[GC]: PL34S3  
[AG]: Idkkkkkkkk  
[GC]: VR1SK4 1 ROY4LLY SCR3W3D UP 4ND 1’M R34LLY FR34K1NG OUT R1GHT NOW  
[GC]: 4S 4 F4VOR TO YOUR S1ST3R, PL34S3 L3T M3 SP34K W1TH H1M  
[AG]: Ughhhhhhhh fiiiiiiiine, don’t get your boxers in a bind.  
[AG]: I’m not heartless.  
[AG]: I’ll ask him.  
[AG]: 8r8.

Terezi waited. She waited what seemed an eternity. And as she waited her thoughts wandered once again to Vriska’s throwaway comment. Surely the blue-blood was just teasing her right? There was certainly no way that they… no, she was just being neurotic, another unpleasant quirk that perhaps she had picked up after spending so much time with her matesprit. They had literally nothing in common, and Vriska was far too unstable to be in any form of quadrant with anyone, let alone a flushed one. She realized how incredibly hypocritical she was being given what she’d done, but she ignored that for now. If she could just talk to Karkat, she could fix what she’d so carelessly broken. That familiar pungent odor suddenly wafted into her nostrils. 

[AG]: He says he doesn’t want to talk to you right now.  
[GC]: WH4T!?  
[GC]: 1T’S B3C4US3 YOU’V3 DUG YOUR CL4WS INTO H1S M1ND  
[GC]: 1 KNOW ABOUT TH3 TH1NGS TH4T 4R4N34 T4UGHT YOU  
[AG]: Clean that tongue of yours every now and then! I already said I’m not manipul8ing him.  
[AG]: 8ut I suppose the only way to prove that would 8e for you to smell him for yourself.  
[AG]: However he doesn’t want to interact with you at all atm.  
[AG]: So, I’m in an 8it of a 8ind as you can probably see.  
[AG]: Sorry, couldn’t resist.

There was a pause, as Terezi mulled over what her scourge sister had said. 

[GC]: SO H3’S S4F3?  
[AG]: As safe as the Mother Grub herself.  
[GC]: VR1SK4, TH3 MOTH3R GRUB IS D34D  
[AG]: You know what I mean. D::::  
[AG]: Seriously, just trust me on this.  
[AG]: I’ll keep him out of harm’s way for a little, he’s still a 8it shaken up.  
[AG]: 8esides, wouldn’t you like yet another excuse to stab me in the 8ack?  
[GC]: VR1SK4 YOU KNOW 1 R3GR3TT3D TH4T.  
[AG]: Not the second time.  
[GC]: NOW R34LLY 1SN’T TH3 T1M3 FOR TH1S.  
[AG]: Will there ever 8e a good time?  
[GC]: VR1SK4, PL34S3…  
[AG]: Ughhhhhhhh, fine.  
[AG]: Could you just… cut me some slack just this once then?  
[AG]: Think of it assssssss.  
[AG]: An apology.

Terezi sat in silence as she mulled over her options. She had to tread carefully here. Incredibly carefully. Vriska had power over her, and frighteningly little self-control. If the Libra said the wrong thing…

Or if god-forbid, Karkat with his mouth…

She shook her head, trying to dislodge the litany of affronts that sprung out from the ether. There had been no threat, no challenge, just the Scorpio’s usual snarky self. She wasn’t looking for leverage, and was perhaps even striving once more to turn a new leaf. 

Though Terezi had been wrong before. 

… 

But Vriska wasn’t heartless. And, much as Terzi was loathe to admit it, Vriska’s various powers and affinities would ensure Karkat didn’t do something spur of the moment in his fragile mental state.

She sighed, throwing the metaphorical dice that Vriska had so effortlessly gamed. 

[GC]: 4LR1GHT  
[GC]: CONS1D3R TH1S MY 4POLOGY TH3N  
[AG]: ::::D  
[AG]: You won’t regret it.  
[AG]: With my a8surd amount of luck and excellent people skills, I’ll stop him from hurting himself  
[AG]: I’ll ttyl, 8uh-8ye.

‘I hope so’ Terezi thought as she shut down her husktop, falling backwards onto the couch. Still, Karkat was alright, and that knowledge greatly eased her aching blood-pumper. At least for a little while then, she was certain that she could rest her weary eyes. She wanted nothing more than to slink into the refreshing slime pit of her recuperacoon, but before she could muster up the strength to begin the arduous journey sleep overtook her. 

She slept like a rock. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You are now Dave Strider, which is a huge relief. Being Terezi was getting to be such a fucking downer. Sometimes one just needs to kick back and simply relax a little regardless of how awkward the situation. And if there was anything your current situation was; it was awkward. In fact, it was so awkward that it would more than likely be pronounced with a heavy lilt by all who would recount it. So really it was more like Awkwardddddd, though you knew for a fact you would rather die than ever be caught speaking with an accent even remotely resembling that sort of valley girl titter.

Even irony had its limits. 

…

Goddamn were you cool though.

Seriously, bask in it for just a moment.

Be Dave Strider.

Yea.

That felt good.

Of course, whilst it was certainly true that hearty congratulations were in order for being yourself, you no longer had time to kick back and relax, being as you were in the midst of carrying out your INCREDIBLY BAD IDEA. Indeed it was an idea that was so painfully terrible, so cringe-inducing, so fucking awful, that perhaps if this was being written in any perspective but the second, you might expect a few hearty paragraphs explaining in great detail what an awful plan it was. But that just wouldn’t be a very cool thing to do. 

Besides, you had your reasons. 

After tripping on that tree-root, and face planting into the hard, uncaring earth because as a measly EARTH HUMAN you had not been built with night vision pre-installed, you knew you didn’t have a chance of catching the fleeing Vantas. And unfortunately for you, catching him was something that you really should have done a better job of doing. Given your friends mental state, his loud piercing wail, and the blood-red tears you had seen splattered all about the forest path as you chased after him, you were fairly certain he was about to do something INCREDIBLY DRAMATIC. Furthermore, deep down you actually did feel RATHER BAD about what you had just done, and wanted to at least apologize for something that was inevitably going to end up being your fault no matter what you did. Maybe offer some kind words so that Karkat might get through the difficulties which lay ahead a few hours into his future, though even this much you knew was an EXCEEDINGLY UNLIKELY OUTCOME, albeit one that was perhaps INEVITABLE. There was little point in telling past Dave not to engage in SLOPPY MAKEOUTS with the matesprit of one of your closest friends. Somehow events would conspire to have before-said SLOPPY MAKEOUTS occur anyway, perhaps even because of your meddling.

In the future, that thought you just had would constitute an example of ACTUAL IRONY, a word whose meaning would continue to COMPLETELY ELUDE YOU. 

But that was neither here, nor there.

One of the cool things about Karkat, you mused, was that he understood pretty goddamned well that the future, the true alpha future, was and would forever remain completely and insufferably immutable. So hopefully he would understand that this was literally all you could do. Which was one of the things that had always bugged you about your powers. They were cool and all yes, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that they were also HILARIOUSLY ARBITRARY. Everything you ever did was seemingly written far, far in advance, as if some stuffy narrator was pulling the strings of your destiny toward a foregone conclusion that you could never hope to change despite being able to interfere with TIME ITSELF.

Man time-travel was confusing. 

You heard Karkat swear a string of incredibly colorful profanities, and sighed, rubbing the dust off your IMPECCABLE SHADES. This was probably going to be the most awkward thing you would ever have the misfortune of doing in your entire life, even more awkward perhaps than that thing you promised you’d never tell anyone, let alone even think about ever again.

That had been SERIOUSLY UNCOOL.

Well, you figured there was no point in delaying the inevitable any longer with vague teasers of things nobody but you would ever know. You strode over to the Troll that you would grudgingly admit to being a CLOSE FRIEND of yours, truly hopeful that this experience would do the situation at least some good. If you had been anyone else but Dave Strider, you might have felt the tiniest tinge of nervousness at the prospect of what you were about to do, and perhaps in some alternative doomed timeline, Dave might have been described as feeling more than a little powerless to help his friend and atone for his mistakes. That Dave might also have been described as feeling FUCKING TERRIBLE for what his hands had wrought.

Yet, that was of course, neither here, nor there.

…

…

… 

Of course if you had been the narrator you would have known that this was, and would forever remain, an INCREDIBLY BAD IDEA.


	3. Off The Rails

Your name is Vriska Serket, and it is a widely known fact that you are the most BADASS CHARACTER in Homestuck. In fact, not only that, but everyone would also agree that you are also the BEST-WRITTEN CHARACTER, as well as the one most deserving of RESPECT AND ADMIRATION. In fact, even omniscient narrators understand that only you could explain your story, the utilization of various acceptable writing tropes only serving to muddy the waters of your GRAND IMPORTANCE in this particular tale.

So kudos to you.

You have just finished speaking with TEREZI PYROPE via Trollian, who has begrudgingly decided to leave her matesprit KARKAT VANTAS in your custody. It has come to your attention that something SERIOUSLY STRAINING has occurred between the two Alternians, and like the GOOD FRIEND that you are, you have decided to offer them your assistance. You know they will both be THRILLED with the results despite their reservations. Behind you, the sound of faint rustling echoes from within your recuperacoon. So while you had technically lied to Terezi, you had a better grasp on his mental state than she did anyway having briefly tasted its rotting core.

And besides, that wasn’t really important right now anyway. What was important is that hopefully the calming comfort of the sopor slime, along with the simple passage of time, had dulled Karkat’s desires to SERIOUSLY INJURE HIMSELF. You would also like it to be known that giving up your recuperacoon was a particularly selfless act; you don’t share your slime with just anyone. Actually you had never shared your slime with anyone. Not only because the nightmares you had festered particularly malignantly within your psyche as a result of your GUILTY CONSCIENCE, but also because fuck everyone else that slime was yours. However, that just goes to show how willing you are to repair the bridges you had so carefully and meticulously burnt during your time within the medium. You sighed: being a GOOD FRIEND was hard, it’s hard and nobody understands.

Before your self-centered tangent could reach Aranea levels of dullness and narcissism, a loud voice exclaimed the question that was on everyone’s minds. “Where the fuck am I!” Okay maybe not everyone’s minds, but certainly his. It was quite obvious to you where you were; only being in possession of one hive after all. You had tried to model it after your old one, a spooky and sinister tower from which you could plot and scheme whilst keeping meticulous track of all the irons in your fire. Of which there was currently only one. Quality over quantity! Yes you were-

“Goddamn it spider bitch, stop fucking muttering to yourself and answer me!”

Rude.

“I can’t help it Karkat if I have a penchant for… intelligent conversation…”

“Wow… real fucking clever there, how long did it take your cobweb-ridden thinkpan to come up with that one? Oh wait, hang on. I already know the answer to this one, eight seconds? Eight minutes? Eight hours? Eight days?”

You couldn’t possibly roll your eyes any harder if you tried.

“Believe it or not Karkat not everything in my life revolves around the number eight. Just the important things, like the fact that I will most definitely kick your ass in eight seconds if you don’t shut the fuck up.”

“Why not just manipulate me then if my fucking personality is so grating to your auditory orifices? It’s not like you had any reservations about doing that last night.”

It took all your self-restraint not to shut his protein-chute for him. Seriously, you were straining. Your only consolation was that he wasn’t moping. It was too early in the night for that, the harsh Alternian sun having barely hidden its leering face beneath the horizon. Better milk the ‘good mood’ while it lasted. “I believe you wanted to know where you were?”

“Ok fine, dodge my barbs, see if I give a shit. Yes I would like to know where I have been grubnapped to!”

“It shouldn’t be that hard to figure out where you are, especially if you-“

Wait a second.

“You… have no idea how to get out of my recuperacoon do you?” There was a pause, and you could almost feel Karkat’s blush as if it were your own. That was always a nice feeling. You couldn’t help but see how far you could take this. “Wellllllll?”

He blew a fuse, his voice ceaselessly sputtering a string of insults, curses, and accusations in some largely unintelligible, stream of consciousness potpourri.

It was adorable. “Oh my Karkat! A-are you relaying pitched feelings to me?” You asked cloyingly, smile seemingly indefatigable as his scarlet blush burned a hole through your ‘coon.

He recovered quickly though, hiding his embarrassment behind yet more angry insults. “I’ll have you know Vriska that whatever hatred I feel for you is entirely platonic, because unlike you, I have some fucking standards in regards to who I desire to share quadrants with!”

“I see…” you cooed, voice as saccharine and sweet as you could manage. “Would Dave by any chance happen to be the standard you are referring to?”

Karkat sputtered in denial, “W-what? Dave!? Strider!?! That fucking nook-sniffing bulge-muncher wouldn’t know his way around a blackrom if it pulled off his gaudy hipster shades and dragged him kicking and screaming into Eridan and Sollux’s concuscipient platform for a good long fucking look.”

“Didn’t really return your feelings did he?”

“Fuck you! Get out of my head!”

“Ok, ok so maybe I cheated just the littlest bit.”

“I can’t fucking believe you, like seriously what the literal fuck is wrong with you? That shit’s personal! If you so much as hint at that to anyone I swear to god I will shove you, horns first, down into the nearest load gaper.”

“I don’t appreciate idle threats Karkat.”

“Like when you threatened to kick my ass?” There was a silence in the air, as his words filtered their way into your conscience.

“Do you really want to go there Karkat?” You stated slowly, voice frighteningly low.

“Oh wow that’s two idle threats now, guess you’re in the lead huh? Because while you’re sitting there mouthing off your veiled threats, here I am sitting here with an ass that remains un-kicked, and will in all likelihood remain that way because-“

It hadn’t taken you any time at all to bust down the door to your recuperacoon, Karkat’s determined glower meeting your angered gaze. A voice in your head warned you as to the consequences of kicking his teeth in. You found it remarkably easy to drown out amidst Karkat’s constant screaming and swearing. “I’ll show you how ‘idle’ Vriska Serket’s threats are, and always will be, you little shit!”

“Woah, woah, hold on Vriska there is no way I’m whoring out any fucking quadrant with you so g-“

It was amazing how easily a punch to the face shut people up. Like seriously, this was so much easier than feelings bullshit. You should have just done this last night and been over it. So cathartic. Of course immersed as you were in your own magnificence, you didn’t quite spot Karkat’s knee until it was a bit too late to do anything about it. And as you reeled backwards you finally realized his ploy. Before he could abscond, your fingers clawed their way into his mind.

He grunted in discomfort and pain, falling to his knees. “Leaving so soon?”

“Ngth.” Whatever witty retort Karkat had prepared failed him in his time of direst need.

A shame really.

“I’ll admit it was stupid of me to let my guard down, but I’m not letting you out of my sight. I’m going to be looking after you for a while whether you like it or not, until I’m sure that those frankly unappetizing entrees lurking around in your head have been successfully disposed of.” The sounds of angry muttering reached your auditory orifices. That just made things more interesting.

“If you don’t want to behave then I can just hold you like this indefinitely. It really isn’t any skin off my back. Hell maybe I could have you do tricks! Wouldn’t that be fun? You could be my little Karkitty!” He groaned visibly, the mere mention of Nepeta’s ridiculous pet name enough to break even his stubborn will. “So will you behave then?” It took a while, but slowly Karkat’s wounded ego allowed his head to nod. “Good boy!” You released him from your grasp, and he fell forward with about as much grace as you’d expect.

You couldn’t help but smirk at the sight. You would be lying to yourself if you hadn’t fantasized about putting the husky troll in his place, though following your various ‘indiscretions’ before the game you really had not been able to realize that dream. Perhaps there truly was something to friendship. After all if not for your selfless gestures last night you wouldn’t have found yourself in such a delightful predicament.

And while you were zoning out, you guessed that Karkat managed to read the last few sentences of your conversation with Terezi on account of the way he was currently vacantly staring at the screen of the husktop you had forgotten to lock. Man, you really needed to stop zoning out. Perhaps teasing him had not been the best plan to follow through on. Though to be fair, it wasn’t your fault this was hard.

His silence was deafening, even louder than his shouting. After what felt like an eternity of this awkward stand-off you heard him mumble something incoherently. It was obvious what he had asked. “Yes Karkat, Terezi knows you’re here.” You explained through grit teeth. Your answer seemed to snap him from his reverie, though his voice was far more quiet than usual. Indeed, given the expression forming on his face, it seemed that you were going to have an impromptu faux-feelings jam with him this early in the night.

Oh boy!

His voice belied his enthusiasm for the undertaking. “I see.” He responded, his eyes looking everywhere but into your own. You were thankful that the soporifics had done their job, his earlier despondency replaced with a simmering melancholy.

Progress!

“I didn’t want everyone and their Lusii banging on my door. I had to tell someone. It’s not like anyone would put it past me pulling a stunt like this for selfish reasons. Despite the fact I have nothing at all to gain from it.” You added self-righteously. Karkat didn’t seem to be listening.

“What did she say?”

“She just wanted to know if you were alright, and that she understood if you needed some time to yourself.” He slumped his shoulders in response, sighing deeply. “Sooooooo…” You started, grasping desperately for whatever remained of your previous rapport, testing the waters so to speak in your diligent attempts to realize the troll disease of friendship.

“So?” Karkat asked rhetorically, the curtness of his voice hinting at his level of willingness to engage in conversation.

“Do you, I guess, want to talk about what happened?” Wow, that sounded so awkward and forced that as soon as the words left your mouth you clammed up immediately. Karkat just stared at you; eyebrow raised as if contemplating what fiend had stolen away the real Vriska and left this poor facsimile in her place.

“That’s a conversation I would rather save for my moirail.” He stated icily, before turning away from you, giving you the literal cold shoulder.

“I wasn’t aware you had one…”

“I don’t, and I’m not accepting any applications either Vriska.” You resisted the urge to go off on him for daring to insinuate you had pale feelings for him. You knew better than anyone that if you messed this up, that would be it for the social life, such as it were, of perpetual almost-heroine Vriska Serket. And not to steal Karkat’s luster in the self-loathing department, but even you knew that you would shrivel without the hope that you could somehow redeem yourself in the eyes of your former friend group.

In other words, being lonely really fucking sucks.

Even moreso than putting up with someone as insufferable as Karkat. So given the stakes, you reached deep within yourself, mustering every last inch of goodwill you could manage to steer the conversation in a more positive direction. “Like I would even deign to apply for such a loathsome position. Moirails? With you? That’s fucking rich, given our track records in the pale quadrant I would say we haven’t exactly had much luck in retaining those kinds of relationships have we?”

Nailed it.

The Cancer winced, memories of his failed moirallegiance a suitable reminder of his distaste for that particular quadrant. “Then what exactly are you suggesting if not my pale quadrant?”

“Can’t a friend of yours simply show concern without a long, rambling litany on the importance of every conceivable interaction being neatly lumped into some quadrant or another?”

“You aren’t my friend, Vriska. And you have yet to tell me of your angle.”

“My angle?”

“How this arrangement benefits you.”

“I think I’ve made it fairly clear that despite my general dislike of you, I don’t want you to die Karkat.”

He threw his hands up in apparent frustration. “Like I’d ever even go through with it. I’m such a goddamn coward I-“ he paused, as if mulling over a particularly demented thought. “I…” His eyes lit up like lanterns, flicking over towards you with a searing intensity that almost burnt your skin.

That needed to stop. “And what the fu-“

“The only reason you’re helping me is because you want to wriggle your way back into the group’s good graces.” He interjected, blunter than any of the many eight-balls that had once foretold your doom. Your expression hardened. He had punched you right in the gut with that one.

He smiled wanly, teeth nestled under the curve of his lip. “They’ll never let you in.”

You couldn’t have shot him a gaze more full of contempt if he had smashed your autographed Troll Nicolas Cage collection.

“You don’t need to hide yourself from me Vriska, I’m well aware of what you are, what you’ve always been.” He laughed, a dry raspy sound echoing faintly throughout the rafters of your hive.

“Enlighten me.” You seethed, blue blood threatening to boil over into red.

“You’re a rabid barkbeast.”

You bit back your retort, choking down all the bile rising to the surface.

“And one day, we’re going to put you down.”

You almost didn’t realize the feeling of your claws around his throat, the pulse beating so faintly beneath your fingertips. You could faintly glimpse at the edges of your peripheral vision, despite the amorphous haze which was strangling your reason, his face contorted into a demented grin.

And you knew then that this was what he wanted.

It was what you wanted too.

He was right after all.

This is what you were.

Your grip tightened, the delicious resistance of his unyielding skin sending titters down your spine.

Every noble thing you’d ever almost done came writhing and screaming to the surface.

Revealing at last, the yearning emptiness within.

Pulling everything you came in contact with into its deadly orbit, towards that crushing nothing that had tried so vainly to conceal itself.

Especially from her.

Your best friend.

Your worst enemy.

Who’d ripped your heart asunder with her every calculated cackle.

Who’d burned your insides, flayed your outsides, and pulled you inside-out.

Who’d struck you down again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again.

Who’d glimpsed past the façade, and seen what lay beneath.

And in her horror, fled.

Abandoning you to the cancer eating you inside.

For the Cancer dying in your claws.

It was through him you’d pull her screaming back into your embrace.

And share that emptiness once again.

Before your flame burnt out.

Finally, you ha-

_You’ve done a lot of damage in my absence._

You dropped Karkat, shocked you had forgotten.

_Did you think I’d stay restrained for long?_

You struggled to foment your powers once again, mind sputtering: overloaded.

_I know you can hear me._

“What do you want?” You shouted aloud, trying to regain control.

_This isn’t you._

“This is me.”

_As much as you’d like it to be._

“Shut up.”

_It’s time you stopped lying to yourself._

“Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.”

_And took responsibility._

“GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!!!!!”

 _For who it is you are_.

 “Hello! Earth to Vriska!”

You snapped to attention, your eyes still blurry with figments of a daymare you could scarcely now remember. Of course, as you lost yourself once again in the overwhelming blueness of his eyes, you didn’t much mind what it was you had forgotten. He smiled, dimples accentuating that adorable buck-toothed grin that normally set your mind entirely at ease.

Normally.

“Thought I’d lost you there for a second.” He stated in between the frenetic smacking of his lips on big fistfuls of popcorn. “You were going to miss the grand finale! See,” he pointed his salty fingers towards the screen. “Wait for it…”

“John.” You started, vainly hoping to grab his attention from the train-wreck he had somehow convinced you to watch with him.

“Oh man this is my favorite part of the whole movie, you see Liv Tyler,”

“John!”

He almost spilled the popcorn, before pausing the movie and turning to look at you with the most adorable expression. “Do you not like the movie? I brought Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call as well, we can watch that afterwards I just really want to see this scene!”

You shook your head, you knew it wasn’t the movie that was bothering you. You just felt…

“Is everything alright?”

“I just… feel... weird.”

“Weird?” he asked, eyebrows quirked.

“Like I… don’t belong here. Like I don’t belong anywhere.” Your claws dug deep into your sides. You didn’t vanish but still the feeling remained.

“Why wouldn’t you belong here Vriska?”

“Because I fucked up, not once, not twice, but every time! I just can’t shake the feeling I’ve dug a pit for myself, and that I don’t deserve to be happy because of it.” You were trembling despite yourself, as John looked on with ever deepening concern.

“The future's still ahead of you, Vriska. You get to decide that moving forward, you and nobody else. You can be whoever you want to be with every step you take.”

"I… just… what if the person I’m becoming is a monster? How do I know? How can I trust myself knowing what I’ve done? I’ve never made the right choices before. What if…” You trailed off, the thought too awful to be given validity through speech.

“Just ask yourself, before you make a choice: Is this for me or someone else? At least then, you’ll know if your heart was in the right place.” He was silent for a moment. “For what it’s worth though Vriska, I believe in you.”

“Even knowing what I’ve done?”

“Especially knowing what you’ve done. Because if you were truly as awful as you like to think you are, you wouldn’t have such regret.”

You spun around as something cracked outside your vision, startling you.

_Do you see?_

Turning back, you froze with fear as white met black.

“I think that’s my cue.”

You grabbed his shoulders, pulling him close as the world around you cracked and splintered. “Please, don’t leave.” You croaked, vision blurring. You felt the familiar pressure of his soft hands atop your hair.

“Even if things didn’t quite work out between us, I enjoyed the time we spent together.”

You choked out a panicked sob.

“Will I ever see you again?”

He pulled you tight, his form rapidly disappearing as the waking world called you once again.

He spoke, but you couldn’t hear the words.

But you saw his goofy grin.

And you couldn’t help but smile back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your smile melted into a frown, as you took a moment to take in your surroundings. Namely what was missing from your hive. Your fist slammed into the wall, the extent of your folly quickly becoming clear. Karkat Vantas had left the building, and potentially the mortal coil. You slumped down against the wall as your renewed hopes shattered before your disbelieving eyes. Of course this is how things would go. After all, hadn’t this been what you’d wanted all along? Another lie because it was easier than the truth? You were right on at least one front though. You really did only know how to break things. You’d fucked up, and by the time you’d realized your mistake it was too late to fix it.

In other words, vintage you.

God you-

_It’s not too late to set this story back on track._

“What’s the point, I’d just-“

_You’re the only one who can make a difference now._

_........_

You were, weren’t you? It’s not like anyone else would be lucky enough to just stumble upon him. No. No, it really was just you. And that familiar feeling rose again, the same one you had tried so desperately to drown in your mad rush to force yourself into a mold that didn’t fit. Suffice to say, your hero complex was alive and well. And that was all you needed. And hopefully, as you raced out of your hive following the whispers on the wind as the beginnings of a plan formulated in your mind, it would be all he needed too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics signify the author's voice.


	4. 8RINKSMANSHIP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Attempting to do present tense shenanigans here.

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and it’s a _long_ way down. You shudder reflexively, gazing at the craggy rocks below, beckoning you forward into their deadly embrace. Your vision blurs, vertigo overwhelming you as you scramble to assert your purchase on the ledge. God, even your cowardice is pathetic. You weren’t going to let that dissuade you. You were far too dangerous to be left alive. You had no idea what had come over you, goading Vriska into trying to murder you like that, but if you were so desperate to die you’d bring others down with you, than a line had been crossed.

The only one who deserved to suffer for your mistakes, after all, was yourself.

You gulp in a deep mouthful of air as you edge closer to the brink. The earth beneath you gives way beneath your feet, its grip on you as tenuous as yours was on your miserable life. You closed your eyes, trying to find the courage to do what every bone in your body knew--

“Are these cliffs truly that much more intimidating than me? I’m hurt _Karkat_.”

Your blood pressure skyrockets before she can even finish her first syllable. Of course she had found you whilst you stood there blathering to yourself. Slowly you turn to face that smug expression, her haughty demeanor on full blast. “You can’t keep me restrained forever,” you snarl, spittle flying from between clenched teeth.

“Restrained? The only person keeping you restrained right now is you, Karkat…”

She was such a god-damned liar. This was all a twisted game to her. That didn’t stop you from foolishly taking the bait. You take one step backward towards the yawning abyss, bracing for the pain.

Yet none come, and you nearly fall face-first into the yawning chasm below. After you manage to dislodge your bloodpumper from your throat, you turn to her, ragged breaths stealing what little air remains within your ventral sacks. You tried to look menacing, but your body betrayed you, expression pulled too taut by disbelieving facial muscles.

She smiles enigmatically, clearly savoring your flustered glower, “If this is what you want, so be it. Who am I to stop you? However, to avoid the indignity of crippling life-long pain, might I suggest further up the path? A fall from this height wouldn’t kill you, trust me,” she pauses for a second, looking pensive, “In fact--”

Before you can react she is upon you, her hand crushing your wrist within its vice-like grip. And with that, she’s off: sprinting into the darkness, dragging you along with her into the maelstrom of trees and ferns all around.

 After what felt an eternity exposing your body to the uncaring barbs of a Mother whom had abandoned you long before your hatching, Vriska pulled you into a clearing. The moon looked so much closer here, peeking out behind auburn clouds, as if afraid of watching too carefully the drama unfolding beneath its ivory glow. You also couldn’t help but notice, with no small amount of foreboding, that there was not a single star lighting up the sky. The heavens themselves had fled before your arrival. Fucking perfect.

 “Don’t want to mess this up, do we?” She states stoically, finally releasing her death grip on your aching wrist before stalking towards the border between land, sea, and sky. Honestly, her weird behavior was--

“Wait, what do you mean _we_?” You demanded, trying to grasp her attention from the waves lolling lazily underfoot.

She does not even bother turning to look at you, “It will be a whole hell of a lot less painful for me this way.”

“What the fuck are you talking about!?”

“They’re looking for any excuse to put me down remember?” She says, hurling your own words against you like daggers.

“Using my conscience to hold me hostage? That’s low even for you.”

“Your conscience? The same one that less than an hour ago had managed to goad my claws around your throat? Doesn’t sound like a winning strategy to me. Then again, what would I know about that given the choices that I’ve made?” She swung her legs out over the cliff, sending your bloodpumper hurtling down into your chest, “This is not a scheme Karkat, it is a fact. I am living on borrowed time, specifically yours.”

Your mind races, trying to think of some comeback, some threat. But it’s not like you can promise anything worse than what she was already planning is it? “So that’s it: You’re just going to give up because I have?”

She snorts, “What can I say? Your nihilism is infectious.”

“Don’t joke about this shit, Serket.”

“Why not? It’s fucking funny isn’t it? Seriously a real laugh riot! I gambled, and lost. Because I knew the outcome, I chose a path I thought I wanted, one that I can’t take back. You see, even when I win, I lose. That’s how fate screwed me; it gave me just enough rope to hang myself with. And boy did I really go to town!” She burst out into a maniacal giggle, her body wracking with peal after peal of booming thunderous laughter.  

You had no idea what the fuck she was babbling about, but you didn’t need to be a psychoterrorpist to see she was losing it right before your very eyes. But more importantly, you were beginning to think she wasn’t bluffing.

So now the question was: were you? Your fists clench, as fresh waves of guilt wash over your drowning form. You had simply wanted to finally slip under the waves instead of desperately bobbing to and fro in a vain effort to keep afloat, your every desperate breath causing countless ripples in the stormy sea around you. Terezi’s infidelity had only been the tipping point. This had been building ever since you could form coherent thoughts within your mind. And now you finally had the will to do what you had always been too cowardly to do. The only obstacle: a woman who frankly wasn’t worth the paper she’d been printed on. You’d be doing everyone a favor really. You would not only be removing your hideous presence from a gene pool your caste had been forbidden from entering, but also taking down the only wild-card left in your brave new world. Besides, you’d already done this once before, just a scant few hours ago in fact. You just had to muster that courage for one last atrocity, one final bad decision amongst the sea of terrible choices that had come to define your awful legacy.

You meander towards the cliff, taking slow careful steps. Wouldn’t want to slip and fall now would you? Finally, with a nerve wracking gulp, you carefully sat yourself upon the edge. Vriska cranes her neck, appraising you with a caustic smirk that could strip the sheen from your sickles. Her cheeks flush with a liveliness that is almost disturbing given her suicidal predilections, and her eyes twinkle like sapphires as they reflect the cool colors of the foaming sea below. “I see you’ve decided to join me in living on the edge,” she says demurely, or as demurely as Vriska Serket is capable of being.

Jegus Christ was this your punishment? Listening to the Scorpio’s awful puns mere moments before you took the plunge? You shake your head softly; the universe really was out to get you. Well, not for much longer. You just had to work up the nerve to finally shove off the mortal coil. God, you knew you were fucked when even _yourself_ worked against you.

“Oh come now Karkat, are you _that_ afraid of heights? Seriously you can be so adorable!” Vriska teases, clucking her tongue before wrapping her arms around herself, “Look, do it or don’t. It’s fucking freezing outside, and I didn’t have the foresight to grab my jacket.”

You hiss, swiveling your attentions from yourself to her, “What the _fuck_ is your problem?”

“Not a lack of nerves,” She replies, sneering knowingly.

“So you want me to do it? Want me to jump right here and now?”

She rolled her eyes, truly a frightening display as all eight pupils pivoted around her eyelids. “Come now Karkat. While I would prefer not to spend the rest of my life fussing over you like some eighth rate Kanaya, the sad fact is we both know you don’t you don’t have the conviction anyway.” Her voice was saccharine, every word dripping with condescension.

You couldn’t contain it, disdain choking your lungs. “You think I can’t?”-- You choke out, rage burning your blood--“I have every reason in the world to end my pitiful existence. I have a fucking rainbow of blood colors adorning my claws. I couldn’t keep a grasp on a fucking quadrant with Terezi, feeding into her insecurities about herself, insecurities which led her into the arms of a moirail I could have stopped if I had half a fucking pan.

“And guess what bone bulge is responsible for telling Equius to seek out Gamzee? Real smart move on my part there! Oh; and how could I forget it was my fault that our session was fucked from the start? Turns out, the game doesn’t like it when you take shortcuts and your name isn’t Vriska Serket!!” You shout, rocketing upwards as blood pools in your ears. The earth beneath you quakes. You don’t notice.

“I was the leader”-- Your thumb juts out accusingly towards yourself—“and I unfailingly led my flock towards death and ruin. Every. Fucking. Time. Even Terezi’s over it now, preferring Dave to my constant whining. I’m sick of being wrong. I’m sick of hurting those I care about.  If every choice I make leads to pain, then I’d rather take the one that leads to the least amount of suffering. And if I all I have to do is take you with me I—“

Something gives way.

Your blood freezes. Time stops just long enough for you to take in what your body is frantically scrambling to prevent. You see the foot angling awkwardly over the void, the clump of dirt still hanging in the air in mockery of your clumsiness. You suppose you should feel horrified, should scream at the very least. Instead you feel oddly detached. This is familiar somehow, almost comforting. Gravity was going to do what you could not. Had it always been that easy? Fuck you felt dumb for not jumping sooner: would have saved everyone a world of grief.

Pain shoots through your arm. You wince, reverie escaping you as Vriska glowers, claws digging deep into your wrist. She lay her body taut against the earth as she wrenches you upwards, denying you release. You snarl, swiping at her face. You expect her to make some attempt to avoid the clumsy strike. She doesn’t even flinch. She merely stares at you with a withering intensity, trickles of blue flowing down gaunt, ashen cheeks. Her grip only tightens as you wriggle beneath her grasp.

“G-get off me!” You rasp, tongue thick in your throat. She shakes her head violently, matted hair falling down in long tangled tresses over her face.

“I can’t let another friend die on my watch, Karkat. I’ll break if I let go.” Her words struck like blows from Gamzee’s clubs: weighty and imprecise.

“Then break…” You seeth, the words erupting from some font inside you at once familiar, and yet, oh so alien.

“You don’t mean that, Karkat.”  

“What fucking _choice_ do I have?” You cry out, trying to dampen the contradictory feelings currently raging in your breast. Your hate of yourself. Your love of others. They were both vying for attention, screaming, and pulling, and tearing, and biting. Reminding you that no matter what you did, every choice you ever made would end with another piece of you falling away into the ether.

“You always have a choice. But you let the opinions and feelings of others dominate your life. And you’re so afraid of lashing out that, in the end, your attacks always strike yourself.”

“As they should! I’m a fucking monster, Vriska!”

“We all are, Karkat. We all hurt the ones we care about. We all do things we regret. But you, Karkat, You’re perhaps the most noble creature alive on this verdant sphere. Because despite every instinct that’s been hammered into you from birth, despite all the rage I know is gnawing at your gut: you always put others first. That’s why you were our leader. _That’s_ why I can’t let you die. Because if you do, it means…”--Vriska wavers, gulping in a huge lungful of air as she revealed at last the hand she had always kept so closely to her breast--“It means there’s no hope for me as well.”

Concern creeps into your voice like an particularly unwanted house guest. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t you see?” Vriska blurted out, exasperated, “You’re the best of us. I tried so many times to emulate that concern that comes so readily to you, but I always did it for selfish reasons. That was why it never worked out, why I ended up dead with Terezi’s sword sticking in my back.”

You shook your head, denying the spider a chance to lure you into her web. “If I’m so noble. If I’m so good. Why don’t I feel I embody those traits at all? Why do I HATE MYSELF SO FUCKING MUCH?” You screamed, voice trembling with fury as every one of your far-flung anxiety’s finally came to port.

“Because you don’t cast a blind eye to all your faults. You fixate on them, you struggle with them, you confront them openly. That is true nobility, denying your impulses for the sake of others. I”—She bites her lip, fangs gleaming a silvery cerulean—“I envy that, Karkat. Please. For once in my life, let me play at being the hero I’ve always wanted to be. This facsimile of what it is you’ve always been.”

“Save your heroism for someone worth the misplaced effort! I’m a fuckup who succeeded in poisoning everything I touched. I can’t keep pretending like everything’s okay, like I won’t keep having these thoughts. I’m trapped, I’m fucking trapped and I can’t stay like this anymore! Don’t you fucking get it? Just let me go! JUST LET ME GO!” You roar, biting down into her arm, digging fangs into her skin. She cries out in pain. Her grasp slips for a moment before tightening again, conviction tracing every taut muscle along her arm.

“Would you let go of me, if our situations were reversed?” She starts, as you tear into her flesh anew, trying to shut her up. She does not. Even as your lips taste pale grey flesh between jagged incisors, her gums continue to flap. “Well? Fucking answer me you gogdamn wriggler!”

You cringe, finding a voice amidst the flesh draping across your teeth like so many bloody, tattered sails. “…If you really wanted to die.”

“Don’t fucking lie to me Karkat, it’s so obvious your bullshitting.”

You hissed, snarling like a rabid barkbeast, “You’re not me, Vriska. You’re the _worst_ of us.”

Her lips curl into a frown, eyebrows relaxing into a subtle tension you never thought you’d see. She gazes at you with eyes unguarded, tenderness oozing from cobalt eyes threatening to spill over onto you. “And even I won’t let you go.”

This is it. If you strike now, she’ll let go. You’d done it once before, how hard could it be again? You open your mouth to speak, a litany of biting insults wavering at the tip of your tongue, ready to eviscerate whatever might remain of the feeble conscience Vriska had so foolishly left out for you to destroy. You’d show her what a fool she was to trust in your nobility, and drag her screaming form down into the abyss alongside you.

Nothing comes forth from your protein chute but a bloated, dried-out tongue. Fuck, it had been so easy before! What the hell was wrong with you? Why couldn’t you do this? Of all your friends, and you were using the term incredibly fucking liberally, she was the most deserving of comeuppance. Even following the game she had been a constant threat, a whisper of something dark and forboding barely hidden beneath her manufactured civility. Nobody wanted to deal with her, because nobody knew _how_ to deal with her. Killing her would be a blessing, a boon to those who live in fear of whatever she might do.   

“Please.” She whispers, jarring you into the waking world.

And it is then, with that simple word, you realize that you will never fall. You couldn’t die knowing the impact you’d have on even one such as the erstwhile Thief of Light. You’d just have to live with yourself, for others as you always have in spite of the waste of space you knew you were. Your eyes clamp shut, painful sobs wracking your husky frame. Tears flow liberally down into the massive sea below, uncaring waves swallowing them as consolation for the flesh which got away. Your legs kick futilely against the air, until they meet resistance. Opening your eyes, you see Vriska’s inches away. Her skin is dripping with sweat, hair sticking to her scalp as ragged breaths steal out from her slender form. She looks upon you disbelieving, blinking as if in shock her gambit had actually succeeded. Your chest tightens. Thoughts of fresh torments flood your pan, agonizing new choices you would have to make, people whom you’d inevitably let down.

You didn’t expect her to wrap her arms around you. You shiver, trying to scream. Instead you whimper like a bark-beast, feeling all too much at once and wanting it to stop. Her voice curls around the shell of your ear, teasing you with a promise Gamzee had left unfulfilled so many sweeps ago. “Shoosh.”

You stiffen, mouth agape as words struggle to form themselves. “V-Vriska I told you-“

“Shoooooooosh.” She repeats softly, fingers softly kneading small circles along your shoulder blades. You don’t have the strength to escape the web she has trapped you in. Instead, you rest your head into the nook of the Scorpio’s neck, crying like the wriggler you had always been. She paps you softly as your tears soak into her clothes, voice light and almost ethereal as it ground into your ears in a lilt so different from her usual condescending tone. “Everything will be alright, Karkat.” An awful lie, from an even more awful person. That does not stop you from nodding dumbly, your body believing what your mind knew was utter nonsense.

In other words, the sign of an expert shoosh-papper. Yet how?

“I’ve never been papped before.” Vriska suddenly began, as if reading your thoughts. “Kanaya was always too afraid, and I was too stubborn to ask. Yet, that did not stop me from pining away for the day that she might… need me somehow and I could prove to her I was more than just the fuckup whose messes she cleaned up. So I practiced, waiting for my chance to be her rock and weather whatever storm dared cross her.

“That never happened. Instead I walked a path she could not follow. My anger fed into itself, and I hurt those I cared most about. I hurt them in ways not even Kanaya and I combined could fix. And that only made me angrier.” Vriska’s claws sunk into your back, eliciting a wince from your shuddering frame. “I created Bec Noir to force you all to forgive me. I figured if I saved your lives, then you’d owe me at least that much. But instead, all I got was a sword in my back. And to this day I can’t help but think that if Kanaya hadn’t been so afraid of me, if she.”-- She shivered, either oblivious or indifferent to the blood trickling down your back--“If she had only tried…”-- She shook her head, hitching on something her body was reluctant to reveal--“Maybe I wouldn’t be so alone.”

Yet again, your body defies your mind. “Shoooooooosh” You drawl, stretching out the syllables just for her. Her face blanches silver-white, trickles of blue peppering her gaunt, sunken cheeks. She looks upon you, not with the smoldering fire of a woman in the bloom of her strength and vigor, but instead with the doe-eyed tenderness of a young girl scorned far too many times to count.

“K-kar-“ She rasps, every letter threatening to break into 8 million little pieces. Her breath hitches in her throat, eyes widening in seeming panic, fingernails quaking against your skin. She makes no move to retreat.

“ _Lie to me_.” It does not take you long to realize she had not said that out loud: mind conveying what her lips could not.  Her voice lingers like an outstretched arm, waiting for a handshake that will never come. Soft and worried, pattering insistently like tiny footsteps across your mind.

“Everything will be alright, Vriska.” You repeat, the lie rolling from between your lips so earnestly that you almost believe it yourself. A shadow flashes across her features, as if you were pulling out the very foundation from beneath her weary feet. She falls apart before your very eyes without moving so much as a single sinew.

Unlike every-time before, someone is there to catch her.   

You pull her into your embrace, fixing what could not be mended with tender touches, and gentle affirmations. Her muscles tense like wrought-iron against your skin, as if afraid of letting this moment slip away like every dream she’d ever had. Dark lashes flutter lightly against you, as she leans into the crook of your neck. Wet warmth drenches your shoulder, a marked contrast to her icy skin which was freezing even through your sweater. Choking sobs break out from between her parted lips. She is far louder than you thought she’d be, her voice echoing faintly into the blooming darkness all around. You stroke her tangled curls, knotty clumps of hair that would handily bend even the most resilient of combs. You notice the crimson liquid liberally dotting her frazzled mane like water marks from a particularly untalented painter, a painter growing more and more brazen with every passing second. Lightbulb moment: you are crying. Her voice had been echoing off your own, together melting into one somber trill seeking escape from the earth that bound their bodies to the unforgiving earth.

Her trembling fingernails carve symbols onto your back, drawing out the tension of taut muscles threatening to snap much like your pan. “Sh-sho…shoosh,” she musters with an effort, voice dry and rough like sandpaper. This is so hideously, disgustingly pale. You can’t help but croon despite yourself. God if anyone saw you like this you might die of embarrassment, which would be a blessing all things considered. Vriska hissed, “ _Don’t you dare, Karkat._ ” You want to rebuff her, lay claim to your own autonomy. Nothing came. Nothing but pleasant feelings drowning you in a bliss more ecstatic than the finest high-blood sopor. Your lip curls upwards, fang nestling into a little groove.

You didn’t want to die.

It was like Vriska had flipped a switch nestled in your psyche. Your heart-pumper beat painfully, each throb like a wallop from Gamzee’s clubs. Sticky warmth assaults your scrambling fingernails, clawing for any kind of purchase as the ground falls once again beneath you. Heat evacuates your face, fleeing the premises more quickly than a student in a school feed whose fire alarm had been pulled. Suddenly a pleasant haze steals over you, colors bursting like fireworks in the corners of your vision, a flash of grey there, a tinge of blue, until black washes over, swallowing you in sheer infinity.

Terezi drapes her slender arms across your face, as your bleary eyes flutter open wearily. A sudden exhalation jars your matesprit into nothingness, the last flickering embers of your dream giving way to the Cerulean-blood whose calloused thumb is delicately kneading your jaw. The earth trembles beneath you, and it takes your hazy mind a moment to realize your bulk is pinning the Scorpio’s legs. You would have blushed if you had not trained yourself at an early age not to reveal such an obvious tell for your mutant blood color.  

“You panicked, then fainted.” Vriska states matter-of-factly. “I may have sped up the process.” Her words, though frigid, still tease your ear with a promise she had kept, a promise that dragged the tears from their makeshift prison more effectively than the final scene of Titanic.    

“Oh.”

You are silent after that, noticing with increasing alarm that she is as well. Without the earlier adrenaline surging through your veins, the awkwardness of earlier events nudges itself into the forefront of your mind. Vriska Serket, bluh bluh spider bitch herself, had just papped you into submission. The hairs on your neck stood up in anticipation, eager for another session, or eight, betraying your mind’s unease. You wondered if she was wrestling with similar thoughts, as she stared forward into the inky blackness all around. You two were so incompatible it wasn’t even funny. There was no way a moirallegiance between the two of you would ever work out, she was too unpredictable and you were terrible in a crisis. You’d only end up exacerbating the worst qualities between the two of you. Fuck you couldn’t even keep the goddamn stoner calm, how the hell could you be expected to keep pace with Vriska? She--

Suddenly, a lone claw trails its way teasingly across your scalp. You shiver, crooning into the welcome touch with an eagerness more pronounced than that of a starving man being gifted a four course meal. Of course, Vriska notices, craning her neck to look at you, smirking in that coquettish way of hers.

“I think we did it, Karkat.” Vriska starts, “we found a ship not even Nepeta could foresee.”

You didn’t respond, too afraid of giving this moment reality through affirmation. Her finger stops weaving through your hair. “I can’t do this alone, Karkat.”

You suck in a deep breath. “I just. We’re… we’re just so-“

“Fucked up?”

“That’s an understatement.”

“Oh you know me. Always understating the obvious, not a dramatic bone in my body.”

You snort, back flush against her ribs, the thrum of her heartbeat a comfort more pleasing than a rom-com marathon. You could not deny how _right_ this felt, as if your spine was designed to nestle into her chest. You lay your head against her shoulder, shocking yourself with the level of intimacy you were exhibiting. “Do you really think we could work out?”

“Oh my, Karkat. Are you propositioning my pale quadrant? You barkbeast!” She snarks, eyes twinkling with the vivacity of a life you had almost snuffed out. A vivacity you sorely needed.

The words spill forth from your tongue with far less fanfare than you might have otherwise expected. “Do you accept?”

Her girlish trill vanishes in an instant, her features hardening. “Are you being serious, Karkat?”

“Because I’m so well known for my pranksters gambit.” You roll your eyes, shaking your head softly. If you were going to make mistakes all your life anyway, might as well, as John would say, ‘go ham’. “Of course I’m serious, you moron!”

She looks shocked, and for a moment you had undermined the web from beneath her waifish legs. Of course, that was only for a moment before her fingers find yours. “Then I accept, Vantas.” She states solemnly. “And for my first act as your moirail: I want you to tell me what the fuck happened between you and Terezi.”

You open your mouth in protest before closing it wordlessly. The next time you open it, you find other words instead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

\--arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling carcinoGeneticist  [CG]--

[AG]: Hello, Kaaaaaaaarkaaaaaaaat!

[CG]: UGH, MUST YOU DO THAT EVERY TIME?

[AG]: My greetings are non-negotia8le, sorry.

[CG]: WHATEVER, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

[AG]: An upd8.

[CG]: ON WHAT?

[AG]: You know what! How did it go?

[CG]: HOW DID WHAT GO?

[AG]: Now you’re just teasing me. XXXXO

[CG]: UGH, FINE. IF YOU MUST NIP AT MY HEELS ABOUT THIS LIKE AN OVEREXCITED WOOF-BEAST.

[AG]: I must!!!!!!!!

[CG]: TEREZI AND I ARE TAKING A BREAK.

[CG]: FOR NOW.

[AG]: See, was that really so 8ad?

[CG]: WORSE THAN RECONSTRUCTIVE HORN SURGERY CONDUCTED BY EQUIUS. HE IS SWEATING OVER ALL THE IMPLEMENTS, MUTTERING TO HIMSELF ABOUT HOOFBEASTS AS HE TAKES ADVANTAGE OF YOUR SEMI-DAZED ST8 TO SHOW YOU HIS EROTIC ‘ART’ COLLECTION. 

[AG]: Aha!

[CG]: FUCK, STATE*

[AG]: Too l8, I saw that!

[CG]: FUCKING SUE ME FOR IT, BULGE BITER.

[AG]: Perhaps l8r I’ll ask Terezi to represent me in court. Until then I think I’ll just gush over how adora8le it is to see my influence fester inside you like a particularly malignant tumor.

[CG]: …

[CG]: I TAKE BACK EVERY BAD THING I’VE EVER SAID ABOUT EQUIUS, YOU ARE WAY CREEPIER THAN HIM. 

[AG]: Karkat, stop! You’re going to make me 8lush!  

[CG]: OH MY GOD. NOPE, I’M KILLING THIS. I’M KILLING IT DEADER THAN MY SELF-ESTEEM.

[AG]: Oh come now, surely you don’t want it _that_ dead.

[CG]: FUCKING TRY ME

[AG]: Fine then, Jegus! How a8out a friendly flirtatious wink to lighten the mood? For old times’ sake!

[CG]: NO.

[AG]: Trying. To. Resist. Impulse.

[CG]: I’M FUCKING WARNING YOU, VRISKA.

[AG]: Fiiiiiiiine.

[CG]: THANK YOU.

[CG]: :::;)

[AG]: Vantas, you rake!!!!!!!!

[CG]: OH MY GOD!

[AG]: My delicat8 feminine sensibilities!

[CG]: WHY THE *FUCK* DO I INSIST ON CONTINUING TO RESPOND TO YOU?

[AG]: Good question, want to spend literally 8 hours discussing it?

[CG]: IT WAS SIX AND A HALF, ACTUALLY.

[AG]: Ugh, whatever! Of course you’d fucking time it just to mess with me l8r.

[CG]: NOT HAVING A FETISH FOR THE NUMBER 8 HELPS. YOU REALLY OUGHT TO JUST CONFESS YOUR PITY TO YOUR QUIRK ALREADY, IT IS CLEAR YOU ARE IN ITS THRALL.

[AG]: Well I was going to keep this a Sekret but since you’ve already figured it out I may as well spill the 8eans and tell you a8out the hot, passion8 days my quirk and have been having, just the two of us together. The long drawn out caresses along my upper thighs, the whispers curling pleasantly along my earlo8es, the touch 8arely grazing the fabric of my-- well, you get the idea I’m sure.

[CG]: …

[AG]: And once again, spider8itch is victorious!

[CG]: CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE SUCCEEDED IN FLUSTERING ME YET AGAIN. WHAT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT, CLAPS ALL AROUND!!!!!!!

[AG]: Oh that’s low, Karkat.

[CG]: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE REFERRING TO.

[AG]: Fix it, c’mon.

[CG]: WHY DON’T YOU MAKE ME?

[AG]: I was just teasing!

[CG]: AND I’M NOT?

[AG]: Kaaaaaaaarkaaaaaaaat this is cruel. ::::(

[CG]: !

[AG]: Yes!!!!!!!!

[CG]: NOW THAT YOU HAVE SUCCEEDED IN RAISING MY BLOOD PRESSURE, WAS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU NEEDED? 

[AG]: Hm. No, that was pretty much it.

[AG]: Are you holding up alright?

[CG]: OF COURSE I AM. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF WIMPY BULGE-SNIFFING CHODE DO YOU TAKE ME FOR?  

[AG]: ……..

[AG]: My hive or yours?

[CG]: VRISKA, REALLY I’M FINE.

[CG]: BUT…

[CG]: IF YOU INSIST ON GETTING YOUR PALE-FREAK ON, WHO AM I TO STOP YOU?

[AG]: My hive it is. I’ll get a pile ready, give me 8 minutes.

\--arachnidsGrip [AG] is an idletroll!--

[CG]: HEY!

\--arachnidsGrip [AG] began Trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]--

 [AG]: Yes?

[CG]: …THANKS, FOR EVERYTHING.

[CG]: <>

[AG]: Right 8ack at you, Kra8spider.

[AG]: <>

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, I finally lay this barkbeast to rest. I do appreciate all the helpful comments and i got on this, and apologize for the wait, I hope it was worth it! I will be hammering out a pseudo-sequel (well more of a 'what-if' story, really) which i am incredibly excited about so stay tuned!

**Author's Note:**

> After lurking for nearly a year and a half now, figured it was finally time to clean up some of my older works and get them ready for public exposure. This is the first. I'll upload later chapters once I'm finished editing them. Let me know if there are any problems with the tagging/ formatting, (and the story of course!) Enjoy!


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